The pandemic has put a microscope on all aspects of how we live, and our home lives have become more intensified than ever before. Here, Zoe Mallett, ICF-accredited life coach, shows us how to reset the energy between you and your partner after spending the strangest year of your life living together
It’s not healthy to expect our partner to be everything and anything to us: our best friend, our confidant, our therapist, our lover, our exercise buddy, our housemate, and our co-worker. However, the last year has meant we’ve had to lean on our partners to be everything.
As we start to see restrictions lifting and experience more than what’s inside our four walls, we can take this opportunity to reset the dynamic with our partners. It’s a great time to re-energise our relationships and shift the energy of your work-life situation, letting go of any challenging times you’ve had over the past year and working on strengthening the ones you want to continue into this next phase.
Find somewhere cosy you can sit and talk candidly with your partner. Imagine you are about to embark on the next chapter of your journey together. What does that look like? Find this out by using the questions below.
1. What’s our home dynamic like?
What have you enjoyed about the last year? What routines or habits do you want to keep? What are some of the things you haven’t enjoyed and that you’d like to let go of? What has made you proud of the other this last year?
Listening to each other’s answers should help you establish better boundaries and new rules to live by.
2. Who were we then, and who are we both now?
How would you describe each other individually pre-COVID and where you are
today? What’s changed? How have you grown?
What about your relationship and you as a couple – who were we then, and who are we now?
From your answers, plan out how the newer versions of yourselves will show
up in your future relationship.
3. Loving you is…
In your own words, share what love and desire mean for you. When do you
feel like you love your partner the most? What is it they are doing in
these moments? When do you most desire your partner? What is it they do in
those moments?
From your answers, what role are love and desire going to play in your
relationship?
4. Plan a celebration
Celebrate one another with a fresh partnership/next chapter date or activity, just for the both of you, that isn’t tied to a birthday or an existing anniversary. It’s been a tough year, and if you’ve come out of it together and having grown as people, it’s definitely a cause for celebration.
It’s healthy to book in time with your partner every so often to reevaluate some of the above questions, especially as we are going to see a lot of changes over the next few months. It’s good to take some time and check in with each other. Use these questions as a base but instead of focusing them around COVID, focus them around the last time you sat down to check in.
Zoe Mallett is an ICF-accredited life coach from east London who aims to equip people with all the useful tools to have confident, empowered futures. Tune into Zoe’s straight-talking radio show ‘Cut the Bullshit’ on FoundationFM and connect with her on Instagram @zoemallettlifecoaching.
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